10 July 2010

the tree of knowledge

When you are lost to yourself, angels pass through you.

These words were the nicest collection of letters ever sent to me, about me, a gift in grief.   I remember the moment, the words so close to the actual experience, epiphany.
The irony, the man who comforted me,  I've never met, in another hemisphere, on another continent.  Once I heard his voice in a cordial and broken greeting; I'm known vicariously, through her.  
She knows my vulnerability, maybe more than me.  She is my sculptor, and I reject her now and then, my stubbornness.  At times, she moves on to more beautiful things, but I know there is no such thing.  Together she and I have seen the mystery.  So clearly, that he is able to say it best.
More than this symbolic knowing, that moment.  I want that back.  I crave that omniscience; that garden of eden sin is mine.

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